unpacking

My movie dates cancelled on me (thanks Anya and Mark :) Actually it's a good thing, I'm finally reading Salman Rushdie's Shalimar the Clown and sorting out things that I hastily threw in my closet four months ago. I found my two missing memory cards and students' letters. The letters are hilarious and sweet.

painting 101

I spent the whole afternoon painting. I had no clue that painting is so much fun. This wall is not finish. I want to add some bluish gray streaks in the middle, or maybe rust color droplets. Can't wait for the paint store to open tomorrow. What do you think?

change change change

I’m worried about my relations with my friends, more precisely the stages that will soon come. It’s nothing personal against them. I love every one of them. It’s just I’ve seen this stage before. Time moves and we all change with it. Years ago I watched my friends get married, buy houses and have children. I ran from this. I told them not to make my wedding dress I was too young to marry yet. I wanted a different life away from Winnipeg. I felt reborn when I moved away. Yes, the whole world opened its door and different perspectives were shown to me. I attained new friends and said goodbye to the old. But the world turns and turns. And here I am at this stage again. People are moving forward. My friends’ lives are unfolding, as they should, but I’m stagnant. I feel gentle nudges from all directions. Actually, I’ve been feeling them for awhile. I also feel static and bloated. The wind of change is here and I need to learn what to do with it.

Once a upon a time in a land of 38th and Victoria, a woman who is adept at doing almost anything had a thought 48 hours before her finals--give her blog a new face. Inspired by a blog she saw from not so distant past, this savy woman ventured into an unfamiliar territory. "There's nothing to it," she said. "I can do anything." Humble she is not. So 47 hours before her finals she began her task. It wasn't very long till she finds herself in a land of encoded messages. She scoffed, "My knight and shining Help button will keep me safe from harm." She summoned Help with the magical tip of her index finger. She typed her request and promptly Help prescribed his guidance. Armed, she marched ahead. Proud of her self and her new design she uttered,"I'm brilliant" before she could even see what she had done. Convinced of her achievement she went to the kitchen and brewed some tea, she even awarded herself with the gooeyiest frozen brownie. All the while she thought of John Adams and all the Founders who surely would appear in her American history exam. She opened her book and dove back to the world of the dirty south, and still not checking her blog. Then 40 hours before her first exam she longed to speak to her friends. She opened MSN but it would not appear. Puzzled she called Help again. As always Help had many suggestions which she followed but none would allow entrance to the magical palace where her friends reside. "I should focus," she said and return to the Civil War, but before that she allowed herself 5 minutes to check her small community of bloggers to see a glimpse of their lives. She felt comfort and sadness upon reading their blogs. She wished to be in their presence rather than spend time with Hamilton and his economic woes. "In time, in time," she sighed. The minutes turned to hours, "But oh I have not seen the changes I made on my blog," so another 5 minutes was added to the clock . Excited she opened her blog but alas there was nothing to be found. "What have I done," she yelled.

[really don't know what i did, will fix it after my exams... i think my computer is broken...very sad...]

yes, my computer was broken. it had 211 system errors in it. thank goodness for the computer lab boy that cleaned my computer. when did computer guys become hot? a whole untapped resource....

on racism

Ariel and I encountered a crazy man on the bus while we were on our way to our top model party. We were dressed up and because of our peculiar hairdos people did a double look but this crazy dude thought we were evil rich people that deserved his anger. His first insult at us was that we were anorexics, and then we became fat cows, he commented on Ariel’s blue coat; he thought that Ariel spent tons of money on it and he proceeded to say, “Why don’t you shop at Value Village?” Implying that she was too good for Value Village, but the ironic thing was that Ariel’s coat was from a thrift store. And then just before he got off the bus he said, “If I had my way I’d ship all those Asians back.” I realized that this dude was nuts and I did feel a tad sorry for him, but I’ve encountered this type of anger so many times that it sticks. I should shrug it off…but I’m marked by it. The weird thing about racism is that it projects people’s inadequacies and failures. Instead of stepping up their game and facing their weaknesses, they turn around and dump all their frustration on people who are different or don’t share their views. This incident just reminded me of all the times that I’ve been the receiver of peoples ignorance. Like the time I was a hairdresser, this elderly woman said to me, “Oh you people make great maids”….when I was sitting on the beach in Thailand a drunken young guy asked me, “How much?”….or a Japanese person telling me that, “We were worried that you would look like a Filipina…well you do, but you’re different, you’re Philippine-Canadian”….or a drunk salaryman soliciting sex because my face represents the billion yen sex industry…The thing is as much as I hate this bigotry, I don’t hate it nearly as I hate prejudice from my own people.... “What? You think you’re white now?”….. “You think you’re better than us?”…. “Brown [Pinoy] boys don’t do it for you”…Morons!!! There’s nothing more that will please me than to find a Pinoy that I can connect with, and speak my native tongue. But being Filipino is not the only thing I look for when I date a guy…I will not date anyone just because we share the same origin. And no I don’t think I’m white. I’m brown and I’m beautiful. Similar to other displaced people living in Canada, in that I long for my country and my home, to speak a language I still dream in, but like others, I refuse to be pegged or to be limited to a certain ethno-social circle.
I am here! If my presence makes you feel uncomfortable—I’m not going to go away. If I don’t fit within the boundary your mind drew of what a Filipino is….WAKE-UP!!!

Top Model

Last night was the season finale of top model. It was the perfect occasion to strut our hotness, check it out at Ariel's blog www.arielkg.blogspot.com

I also want to give a shout out to Asuka and Sara. Happy Birthday!!!! And Sara...way the go for getting a grown up job, and what a grown up job it is Ms. Project Co-ordinator. Bulgaria is so lucky to have you.